jag fumlade efter linas hand i dunklet, 
drog efter andan, - & svor dämpat. 
förlåt. jag svor! mumlade jag genom handen för munnen.
lina skrattade till med en viskning
precis som när jag var här med mamma..
jag kunde bara skaka på huvudet, stilla i tystnaden
och känna tårarna stiga.
all denna rymd. doften av sten & stearinljus.
den totala stillheten där inne, den fullkomliga tystnaden
hos så många hundratals människor från hela världen.
och sedan sången som strax fyllde upp valven.

vår ofta ordlösa kommunikation har väl aldrig
varit så ovärderlig som där och då, - & vi arbetade på,
alldeles tysta och i respekt för platsen, innan vi helt
uppfyllda, kom ut i det vita, sjudande ljuset igen.
där dansar ett par en plötslig, uppslukad vals, 
mitt bland duvorna på torget utanför notre dame.

på riktigt är det m's hand som fumlar efter min i dunklet
och jag kan höra havet ryta bortom tunga gardiner & våra fönster.
det är lördag morgon, blinkar jag mig fram till.
there’s been another attack in paris, viskar m.
maybe you should make sure lina is..
jag snubblar upp med andan i halsen och knappar in
ett meddelande till lilla musan i paris.
det är så fruktansvärt, honey, men vi är okej. svarar hon. 
jag sitter på sängen och lyssnar på nyheterna, 
stryker le bump och tänker på världen vi ska bli familj i.
och jag kan bara skaka på huvudet, stilla i tystnaden
och känna tårarna stiga.

om den bara räckte ändå.


all photos shot in paris 2012 |
n°1 & n°3 private behind the scenes projects | n°2 for fira s/s12
muse & model : lina lindholm | hair & mua : jossi madsen
n°4 model : sara n bergman and n°5 model : brian valentin
© hannah lemholt photography


i fumbled for lina's hand in the dusk,
gasped - and swore hushed.
pardon! i swore! i mumbled through my hand covering my mouth.
lina laughed in a whisper
just like when i was here with mom..
all i could do was shake my head, stilly in the silence
and feel the tears rise.
all this space. the scent of stone and candles.
the total stillness and the utter silence of so
many hundreds of people from all around the world.
and then the singing, that soon filled up the arched air.

our often wordless communication, had never been
as invaluable as then and there, - & we work in
complete silence and respect for this place, before we
entirely fulfilled, walk out into the white & wild light again.
there dances a couple, a sudden and absorbed waltz,
amid the pigeons of the square outside notre dame.

{a sunday in notre dame - may 2012}

in reality, it’s m's hand fumbling for mine in the dusk and
i can hear the ocean roar, beyond the heavy curtains & our windows.
it's saturday morning, i establish, blinking the night away.
there's been another attack in paris, whispers m.
maybe you should make sure lina is..
i stumble out of bed, breathless and enter a text message
going to the little muse, in paris.
it's horrible, honey, but we're okay. she replies.
i sit on the bed listening to the news,
stroke 'le bump' and think about the world
in which we are to become a family.
and all i can do is shake my head, stilly in the silence
and feel the tears rise.

if only it was enough.
- love,


6 kommentarer:

  1. let us be the love and send it out into the world
    every man for himself - as best he can
    and we will be more and more, I promise!
    do not despair
    love will win!
    because there the journey goes - in love!
    sending you a big big hug and a smile!


    1. yes, sweetheart t, somehow that is one of the things
      that is all you can do;
      be, - stand for, - & spread, - more LOVE.

      i’ve been feeling like i need to learn more, actually
      ’read up’ on this matter as well, lately.. knowledge
      can be a helper as well..

      warm hug all the way to you,



    2. try to find a book from "Eckhart Tolle"
      and maybe "Robert Betz"
      http://robert-betz.com/ (i don´t know if he is available in english too)
      reading this is helpful for me!
      it´s all energy, you know?!
      and when we are changing OUR energy into the love,
      we attract more love...as more People do it, as more love we will create.
      let us try this...and pheewww...i am still learning to Keep this Feeling,
      hahaha.. you know, not all days are easy...
      and sometimes it feels I would fail a bit...
      but I try...every day...again and again...
      and sharing our thoughts helps me back on the "right" path ;o)
      have a happy day sweet h.!
      have happy thoughts...
      and create happy Feelings!
      I will do the same! :-)


i love words.
and i’ll be happy to
read some of yours..
they mean a lot to me.

in any language.
big or small.

that box down there
is y o u r very own space,
here with me,
to leave an imprint ..

x, h

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